不擔心

對自己,也對家人說

覺得自己從小都是個讓人擔心的臭小孩

腦筋裡面老是出現一個又一個的不切實際的夢想

然後更慘的是,還往往花上大把大把的力氣去實現它

[寧可遺憾做錯,也不要錯過] 一直是我的座右銘

只是在拼命追求的過程中,我也漸漸意識到某些東西的失去

第一次在國外過年,在電話彼端聽著家人一道道報上年夜菜名

臉書上照片中你們發光的笑臉還有桌上39元的IKEA早餐

為了等誰電話整夜不睡的眼淚

那些東西因為就無孔不入的存在於你的生活中,所以你也不曾真的認真的去在意。

但一旦你發現失去了,才驚慌失措而痛得要命。

也才發現,其實你的生命裡有某一部分,是被這些東西給支撐著的。

那當然現下在眼前失去的不只這些,窗外的藍天,清新的空氣,能自由行走的能力,能胡亂放肆的情緒……我只能把它先暫時放來這裡。

而就在剛剛,一隻蜜蜂嗡嗡飛進了我房間,'動,動'不停的衝撞著玻璃,渴望窗外的燦燦陽光。

我突然覺得覺得十分同情,and somehow just like me.

然後突然懂了為什麼會擔心。那個被論文、期末考、無止盡書單給困住的自己。

不擔心不擔心雖然我真的很擔心,不開心不開心我要相信把這些拼完就過去,不管了不管了,就這麼一鼓作氣的拼下去

2010年的小小願望就該是這個,不讓自己也不讓你擔心。

Easter in London and QingMing Day in taiwan: similar date with different culture

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left: Easter eggs/ right: food for worship ancester on QingMing Day

I’ve learned the meaning and celebration of Easter from my English textbook several years ago, but now I m going to have my first Easter here in London, which strikes me a more vivid image in real life: 7 days of library closure for Easter break with tens of thousands kinds of chocolate eggs and bunnies in stores. I grabbed one of those colorful eggs and felt myself was ready for the holiday somehow.

After shopping, I came back and called my family in Taiwan, told them I will have a long Easter holidays here. Then they asked me, ‘will you come back for the QingMing Festival?’

'When is the QingMing Festival?’ I m curious cause the date changed every year based on the Chinese Lunar Calendar. ‘It’s going to be this weekend. Your brother will come back for it this time.’ Then my parents started to count how many relatives will come back for it as usual.

The QingMing Festival (清明節), which also called ‘tomb sweeping day’, is one of the important Chinese traditional festival. It’s an opportunity for celebrants to remember and honor our ancestors at grave sites. Young and old pray in front of the ancestors, sweep the tombs and offer certain food, such as spring roll and boiling egg, to show our respect.

Interestingly, I found both Easter and QingMing Festival are moveable feasts. Then I googled and found that QingMing is normally on the 15th days from the Spring Equinox whereas Easter as the first Sunday after the full moon following the vernal equinox. Furthermore, I even found ancient Chinese not only eat but also paint the eggs while they worship their ancestor.

So, the first common thing is the similar date based on Spring Equinox. Of course people might argue about ‘Easter controversies’—not all people celebrate Easter because of different religions in Western areas. However, either West or East might agree it is joyful to celebrate Spring’s coming. To go a step further, Spring is the time of growth and prosperity which would be best represented by eggs, which have been the symbol of new life, renewal, new beginnings and fertility. It is not surprisingly that people seem eating eggs as a tradition in celebrating Spring  across the West and East culture.

To me, one of the bad thing is the high price of plane ticket either in leaving out of London or coming back to Taiwan during the holidays. The good thing? Probably I can eat Easter egg and Spring roll at the same time of this year!